It is becoming more and more common these days for brides and grooms to write their own vows and something I definitely encourage my Brides and Groom to try to do.
Knowing I am there to help and support them if they need help and sending them a few different vows for them to play with, whilst getting their ideas together, I feel also helps tremendously.
Writing your vows however can still be quite a daunting task. Here are a few tips for writing your own vows.
- Remember the Vows are the words in the heart of the couple they wish the other to hear and know and the promises they vow to each other to keep that love alive and strong through the years to come.
- It’s ok to borrow lines from your favourite song, movie or poem. Take some time reading through an assortment of vows and poetry and highlight the parts that appeal to you.
- Decide on a tone. Do you want your vows to be humorous or quirky or romantic or a mixture? Make sure that you and your partner are on the same page when it comes to the tone of your vows.
- If you and your partner have decided not to share your vows with each other until the wedding send them to your Celebrant at least two weeks before the wedding. This will make sure they are approximately the same length and tone and your Celebrant will be able to suggest to you both a line at the end or at the beginning to tie and bring your vows together.
- Think about your relationship in the future. What are the promises you want to make to each other?
- Use the traditional vows and then follow them up with personal vows of your own. This can remove some of the pressure as you only need a line or two.
- If you get stuck ask yourself some simple questions, for example, when did you realise you were in love with your partner? What are the most important promises you want to make to each other? What does marriage mean to you? The answers will help you to put your vows together.
- Look for inspiration in the faiths and cultural traditions you were born into. Here again your Celebrant will be able to easily help you if you want this but are struggling.
- Keep your vows simple and sincere.
- Be prepared. Never leave writing your vows till the last minute. By the day before your wedding you will be to nervous and excited to give your vows the time and consideration they deserve.
- Although your wedding vows are essentially for you and your partner, don’t make them so personal or cryptic that your audience won’t get it. You have invited your friends and family to witness your vows so make sure that everyone feels included in what is definitely one of the most beautiful parts of the Ceremony if you have written your own vows.
In the end they are your vows so don’t let the pressure make you overthink it or stress out. Writing your own vows is a special opportunity to write down your feeling and let your partner know how you feel.